Lupus My Companion

What a month I have had. The colder months are always a strain as my muscles and joints seize up and inflame among general day to day life quite difficult. I had a cold which seemed to set my Lupus symptoms into override and culminated in my back muscles complaining in a very loud voice. This flare up however found me in a different state of mind. I have finally accepted I have Lupus, fibromylagia and a degenerative spinal disorder, you may think that should have been a given, but it wasn't. I struggled with the idea that my body was no longer going to be able to do the things that I had done in the past with ease and a lot of gusto. I struggled and I fought it for 3 years and this did me no favours. As each flare up arrived and ravaged my body I would fall into despair. I hated being reliant on others, hated the fact that I had a condition where there is no cure and a drug regime that was hit or miss and no good news for the future. This last summer I began to accept my condition and even find the positives of having my condition. My life is very different to what it was 5 years ago and a lot of those differences do make my life more enjoyable so when I had a flare up 2 weeks ago it found me relaxed and ready top deal with it in a more chilled out way.
There are so many beautiful, interesting and inspiring things in life that if you blink you may miss the things that make life worth living. Lupus has forced me to stop and stare, take a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. I notice things like a collection of birds in my front garden, the stars in the sky very beautiful here in Sussex. The many wonderful shapes that the clouds make, the squirrels as they leap from tree to tree and thew best of all, the stunning scenery that is all around me here in West Sussex.
To all my Lupie friends out there I know how hard it is to stay positive when you are dealing with constant pain, extreme fatigue, hair loss and unsightly rashes, but just try and look for the positives as it really helps in the long run. I am sitting here propped by 3 cushions trying not to move to quickly so I don't provoke my back but I am thinking about the beautiful papers I got in the post and what projects I am going to make later, the book I am going to start reading later about the last slave market in West Africa and the lovely dinner that my partner is cooking for us. OK I can't run a marathon anymore, play rugby or football, climb a mountain or trek across the Himalayas but I have got many other things in my life that bring me joy I just needed to open my eyes and notice what was already around me.

Is this a new me?

Good Evening All,

I have been away from the web for a while as family life has been in full swing this last week and I am only just slowing down now. I am at the moment having some chilling time in my bed with the telly on and laptop on my lap. The house is silent and that for me is bliss.
I have been card making but I am in a transitional mode at the moment. I have been trying out some new papers, inks, spritzes and some new stamps from Sheena Douglas arrived yesterday. So I have just been designing new sets and playing around with a few ideas that have been floating around in my head, but that does means that not too much new stuff will be added to the Folksy.com page for a few days.
I have been asked to help out at my daughter's Scout Fair next month and I am really looking forward to it. I am going to be running a craft stall . I will be getting the kids making wind chimes, masks and maybe a few cards and of course I will have a few cards and gifts for sell as well. Being totally online and with a few private commissions (thank you to those people who have requested those special personal items and supporting my business in the enthusiastic way that you have) does isolate you at times, so being out there out with the public, chattting to them about my work, what they would like to see and even better,crafting with the kids is going to be a great thrill.
So during this funny time I have been allowing myself to have a real play and try out new things and techniques. I have found that I have a real likeness for colour clashing, texture, bursts of colour, flourishes, shadows, silhouettes and of course like everyone else at the moment, vintage. I have found it very liberating just like when I first discovered crafting and how much I enjoy creating something from nothing. I am finding new things to like and fall in love with and I didn't realise that I was getting stuck in a rut, an arty rut,  but a rut nonetheless. So you will see over the next few weeks a real range of new styles on my blog and my folksy.com page. I hope that you will enjoy them and get inspired by some of the creations and maybe even find what I found that there is always something new round the corner to  fall in love with.

Ta ta for now
B'xxx

I can't believe what I am doing.

Just got home from my day job & I am settling down for an afternoon of birthday card making. As I sit here I realise how lucky I am that I get to do what makes me happy but if I go back 20 years I could not have predicted that this is what I will be doing at this stage of my life. Back then I was young, slim and footloose and fancy free. I don't think I was as happy as I am now though because I focused on making everyone around me happy but not me, sad really.

Anyway I was wondering how many other people are doing now what they thought they would be doing when they were in their teens or 20's. Let me know, I am really interested. Now I must get back to my craft tray.

How long did your new years resolution last?

My first one lasted about a week, my craft room is an absolute mess and even I don't want to go in it right now!! My second, find something positive to be thankful for each day, is still going strong. The funny thing is I am more upset by the first one, why? because I would love my work room to be all organised and clear of unnecessary clutter. Now I need to explain, I love clutter, I love to be surrounded by lots of things, pin boards filled with ideas, templates and mood and inspirational objects, this for me is Paradise, however at the moment it is a hell hole and I worked out that this weekend I was putting off going in there!I feel that even for me this clutter is taking over me and I need to get strong, bite the bullet and sort it. If there is no word from me in 24 hrs send a search party!